Monthly Archive

This is another guest post by Jeffrey, age 6 1/2. Last time he watched the post eagerly, and was thrilled with each comment.

 Once upon a time, my family and I were waiting for a boat. We saw a space shuttle. Someone was going to space. They were going to the moon. This is what I think the moon looks like. This is what they saw.

Then they went into a swamp. First an alligator robot attacked. Then the alligator bit the submarine. The submarine person became lunch. The others escaped.

The End.

My kids are off all week for spring break, and, well, David is still home, as you all probably know. To treat my family, I decided to knock out the banging breakfast. I will thus share with you my recipes for not only my fabulous potato latkes (my high-school boyfriend was Jewish, and I picked up a couple of awesome eats from him) and also, not to be missed, sourdough hotcakes.

For anyone not in the know, Latkes are a traditional Jewish dish of crispy fried potato, usually served at Hanukkah. Not a biblical food, since potatoes come from the new world, but still something rooted for hundreds of years in Jewish tradition. They may take a tiny bit of prep to make properly, but latkes beats the pants off any old hash-browns.

Sourdough hotcakes require you to have some sourdough-starter on hand. Unfortunately, I can’t help you with getting some of that liquid-slurpy-bubbly gold, but if you have some already, this recipe rocks your socks. If you don’t, I’m sorry. Try and get some. Look. Ask. It’s worth it. Mine is over 100 years old, from Alaska- home of not only Mo Mommy, but the hottest sourdough cultures on the planet.

Without further ado or braggadocio, I give you, my breakfast…

Potato Latkes

• four starchy potatoes, peeled and grated coarsely
• 1/2 yellow onion, grated on large holes of grater
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1/4 cup flour
• salt and pepper to taste
• Vegetable oil for pan-frying

The trick to crispy, non-gummy latkes is the proper prep of the potatoes. Once they are peeled and grated, thoroughly rinse them in a sieve under cold water until the water runs clear. The starches in the potatoes will turn the water cloudy at first, and you must rinse the starch if you want crispy results. Once the ‘tatoes are rinsed, drain and press out as much water as you possibly can. Spread them out on a micro-wave save dish and microwave them for 3-4 minutes. (You are par-cooking them, the same way the frozen french fries are par-cooked when you buy them in a bag. It works!)

Once potatoes are par-cooked, stir in remaining ingredients.

Heat oil to med-hot in cast-iron or heavy skillet, and drop blobs of latke into oil, pressing down and making cakes. Fry until golden and crispy on both sides.

Serve immediately with either sour cream or applesauce. Mmmmmmmmm!

Sourdough Hotcakes

• 2 cups sourdough starter
• 2 Tbsp sugar
• 4 Tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking soda

(always handle starter with non-metallic tools- wooden or glass are best)

Into the sourdough, add sugar, egg, oil and salt. Right before ready to bake on hot griddle, add the soda, folding gently. Starter will bubble up and become light and fluffy. Bake on hot griddle and serve with butter and honey (my fav) or maple syrup. Sourdough hotcakes will not be thick and dense like regular pancakes (my grandma called those kind of pancakes “horse-blankets” and would send them back in a restaurant!); instead they will be light and lacy and divine. Enjoy!

Standing at the kitchen island this morning, I picked up a can of Sprite, took a drink, and waves of nausea hit me in a tidal wave. Grabbing the edge of the counter, I called to David as my head began to swim, my ears started ringing, and I sunk down to the floor. It’s been two years since I fainted, but there I was, whoooops- on the kitchen floor.

David pressed wet cloths to my face and hovered over me as I slowly regained my focus. What the hell now? I mean, come on… I’m not pregnant (absolutely positive), I’m not sick- what’s going on? Anyone else ever faint for no apparent reason?

So I’m playing hooky from church today and watching Blades of Glory. Advice welcome.

Look! See?! Look at the bottom! Boingers! Hooray!

Sigh. It’s been a rough week. What’s that you say? It’s only Wednesday? *SIGH*

We are caught in a schizophrenic weather patter here in the great green northwest- It snowed, yes SNOWED on Friday- then Saturday was bright and sunny and lovely enough for an Easter Egg hunt- which of course we did not make, since my poor children’s mother cannot find their Easter baskets. Sunday was cold. Monday it hailed. Right now, I’m looking over the top of my monitor, and the sun is shining and glowing all over the crocus along the fence- the same crocus that were covered with SNOW three hours ago. How, tell me, does one dress for this crap?

Bean got sent home from Pre-School yesterday. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

Remember the car breaking down? Yeah. Well, it’s fixed- and we’re $900 poorer. Cause that’s what we need right now- unexpected bills! Hooray! No job, no insurance, mechanic bills! Hooray! At least the car works now.

Abby had outgrown positively everything in her closet- as the weather changes and I have to dig out things for warmer days- oh! Nope! It’s snowing again! Well, as I was saying, in five minutes, when it’s sunny and warm again, the girl needs some things to wear. Off to the consignment store, basket of old, small, cute stuff in hand, in search of new, slightly bigger, hopefully still-cute stuff.

I’m on the warpath. This house will be clean or else! Else what? I have no idea. But I have to try.

David read a study yesterday that said the in the most successful marriages, the woman is more attractive than the man. Divorce rates are higher when the man is better looking. What’s up with that? And who decides? He says we’re destined to be married forever. Whatever, buddy. You still have to pick up your dirty clothes.

I have a new Visiting Teaching route and companion. I figure, when you add up us and the ladies we visit, there are 20 kids, four husbands and a dog between us. I dare you try and find a time when all of us are available. Yeah. We’re splitting it up this month.

The boys have been playing musical-beds. I never know who’ll be in what bed when I go to kiss them at night. Or which end their heads will be, for that matter. Last night I kissed Bean’s toes, thinking I was getting Jeff’s cheek.

Parent-Teacher conferences are this week. That’s all I’m saying about that. Well, that and my son evidently prefers chatting it up with his neighbors over listening the teacher. Or doing headstand, or walking like a robot, or sticking his pencil in his ear- all of those things win out over Teacher. Can you blame the kid?

Laundry Mountain beckons- I’m off like a herd of turtles. My grandma used to say that. I have no idea what it means, but it makes me feel good to say things she used to say.

If your are of any manner of European heritage, I dare you, no! I double-dog dare you! to just SEE yourself in this awesome blog: Stuff White People Like. 

I haven’t laughed so hard in a loooong time. Hat tip- HSF.

It’s 10:37 on the Saturday night before Easter, and I can’t find my kids’ Easter baskets ANYWHERE!! Gah!! Panicking- I know where they were in the OLD house… crap!

You know, once upon a time, I actually had “boingers” or ringlets- now, I think the years of trying to straighten it out have come home to roost, because even after a week of following The Rules, I’m still just getting deep waves. No “boingers”. Never thought the words would leave my mouth, but I kind of miss the boing-y curls. I mean, if you have to suffer curly hair, shouldn’t it at least Boing? I wonder if it has to do, a little bit,  with how long it is? Or maybe that I really need a good haircut?

Jen at Mythbuster Beauty was awesome enough to send me some wonderful hair products that I positively adore- they leave your hair soft instead of crunchy. Check out the Jessicurl website if you have waves or curls. I’m totally sold. Or at least, I will be when we have cash again!

Wow, it really looks stripe-y colored in the picture! Huh.

It’s 1:22 in the morning. My kids will be up in about four hours, and I cannot invite the sandman to take me away to save my life. Damn Excedrin. It kills the headache, but kills the sleep too.

Between the lady who got stuck on her toilet seat for two years (how? really?) and the lady that went in for a leg operation and instead received a new, um, keister, the world is just really disturbing my rem-cycles.

The mural is coming along nicely- it’s been ages since I painted a mural, and I forgot a) how much fun it is, b) how much work it is, c) how much my shoulders ache when the day is over, d) that I can actually paint left-handed and e) how my thoughts mess with  my sanity when I’m alone for that long. Not a good thing. Today I resorted to a radio masking-taped to the wall, tuned to NPR, just so The Committee in my head would leave me alone. Blogging really does keep me sane- it’s like sweeping out each day- making room for things not-Neurotic or not-Crazy.

Oh, and can I just say, the Saturday Night Live ladies really did nail the whole NPR voice. Pete Schweaty. *snerkle*

Something is wrong with our car. Of course something is wrong with our car- why not now? Eleven weeks of no job is the perfect time for the car to pee anti-freeze all over the garage floor. Do you know anti-freeze does not evaporate? Yes, it’s true. It just stays. And stays. And never goes away. Weird.

The next two weeks are going to be insane. I have so much to do- I’m not complaining, but I’m not very organized, either. I think I need a clip-board- or something. Several of you have contacted me about paintings, I got a pattern order from a new store, I have to finish the mural, I have two quilting guilt guild meetings, one of which I am the president of, and I’m supposed to make 78 bookmarks, each unique of course, for our Relief Society birthday dinner next week. Hmmmm. Human cloning is still out of the question, right? But don’t you think that would be a good idea? No? Hrummmph.

Oh yeah, I have three kids, carpool, preschool, and a husband who’s looking for work. Cripes.

(those of you waiting on paintings- rest assured, that is the stuff I want to do- the rest? Eh, not so much- but painting? I love me some paints…)

It freakin’ snowed here tonight! Can you believe the audacity?! It’s two days till spring. Grrrrrr. It better be gone by morning. You know why it snowed, don’t you? It’s because I went and packed up the snow boots TODAY. Yes. I did. And that is why it snowed.

When I picked Bean up at school on Tuesday, his teachers pulled me aside. Oh no. When they both want to talk to me, I know he had a bad day. What now? Oh, he punched Daisy? Little, tiny, sweet Daisy? *sigh* And then he ran away when you tried to put him on timeout? And he threw rocks at you? Yes, yes, I understand. Come on Bean, let’s go home… *sigh*

Even my glass of ice-water, sitting here tinkling beside my keyboard as I type, is giving me indigestion. Wynken, Blynken and Nod, went for a ride… oh mister sandman, send me a dream- make him the sweetest, that i’ve ever seen, make him like to do dishes and guess all my wishes… oh… mister… sand… man… now it’s 2:04

I finishes this afternoon. This is kind of the round about photo montage. I think you can get the idea- the frog was a request by the three year old girl who lives there. Next, the mom is going to put silk cushions and pillows all over the floor, hang sconces from the walls, and drape fuchsia and violet curtains in the “windows”. The room is actually quite small- about 7′ square.

Pretty cool for hide-out for a bunch of kids!

By the way, in case you can’t tell from the pictures (and I’m sure you can), this room is underground, there are no actual windows and even the wall are really just plain white walls. I painted each brick and beam in- none of it is real. I also filled the “sky” with real constellations and printed the kids names in Egytian cartouches on the wall;  they get to solve the puzzle of what each one says. He he he.

No, not for me, sillies.

My good friend Bek had a lovely baby girl today. All is well and mama and baby appear to be doing well and getting acquainted. Congratulations to their family on this happy, happy day!

All this week I’m working on a mural in a friend’s wine-cellar. Well, it was a wine cellar when they bought the house, now it’s a play-cave for her children. It’s cool because it’s behind two doors in her basement, and the last doorway is pointed at the top, like the Arabian nights. Soooooo….

My theme for the mural is The Desert. I’ve painted the walls like an old stone building, and the sun setting outside the windows. You can see silhouettes of palm trees, and the pyramids are in the distance. I found a diagram of how the stars look in the sky in that area of the world, and am painting the constellations in the sky. She’s going to have cushions made in deep purples and blues and it’s going to be soooo cool.

There will be pictures when I’m done- for now, I gotta run- day three, and I’m most of the way almost past halfway.

One of my Etsy painting sold!! I’m dooooin’ a little dance, dancin’ a little jig…. jumping up and down and squeeeeeeeeling with delight! Someone actually bought something I painted! That. Is. Huge! That means I’m a real painter- Much like the Velveteen Rabbit only becomes Real when he is loved, perhaps it’s also true that a painter only become Real when she is sold!

The purchaser shall remain anonymous, unless she herself chooses to make her presence known- but I shall let my gratitude be known to all the bloggernacle! Thank you!

My hair may be cooler than I thought!

Or, as it’s NOT know at my son’s school, St Patrick’s Day. Are we so afraid of anything remotely religious now that St Patrick has been demoted to just being Green? Yowza. BillyJoe would be pleased.

Ok, David took the top picture last night, and we laughed at how I look like Hagrid. In my defense, I brushed the crap out of it, since this is the last time I get to brush for three weeks. Yes, it really is that big, no I didn’t tease it. At all. Now you know why it’s always up.

Bottom picture is this morning, following Jen’s rules for curly hair. Sorry it’s so dark, but I took that one myself… I washed it with conditioner, and didn’t touch it until it was completely dry. Unfortunately, “dry” took almost four hours. Let’s hope my time improves as the three weeks go by!

File this under “I can’t believe I’m sharing this nightmare with the world”.

Beanie just walked in the room and said “Mom! You’re hair’s CRAZY!”. Funny. I had just taken it down from it’s perpetual “knot” on top of my head and shaken out the mess of nappy curls. It’s not a pretty thing. It was also apropos that he should comment, as I’m considering a challenge given me by Jen at Mythbuster Beauty.

Jen has challenged me to love my curls. I don’t. I hate them. They are messy, nappy, inconsistent, and I always feel like a wild woman when I let ‘em go curly. Usually, my hair is in the Knot simply because I don’t know what else to do. Occasionally I’ll blow it out and it’s lovely- I get tons of compliments- but if there’s any humidity at all, it’s POOF city, and all that work is up in smoke. To anyone who doesn’t have curly hair, I’m speaking Greek, but there it is.

The picture above is a glamorous version of the Knot. (it is me) Also, of how my kids usually see me, but that’s another issue. Don’t get on my bad side.

So, Jen has given me a three-week challenge. She swears if I follow her rules, in three weeks I will love my hair, and my life will be transformed. Well, OK, maybe I made up the transformed part, but I can always hope. It’s time to end the three decade hate-affair with my hair.

You might also want to check out Jen’s awesome site. She reviews cosmetics and make-up and has somehow managed to get companies to send her beauty products FREE just so she’ll write reviews. Can you imagine? How freakin’ cool is that? Here’s the best part (besides how cool she is- and Fried Green Wednesdays)- she gives stuff away all the time! Go check her out- and win some Tarte make up this month!

This is a guestpost by Jeffrey M. 

Once upon a time there was a cowboy, he shot bandits with his rifle. He rode his horse bside the railrode track. He jumped on the tran when his horse was still going. He got punched by a bandit. The cowboy punched the bandit. The bandit fell off the train and the bandit was dead. The end.

Every family has them- weird things that only make sense within the framework of your own nuclear family- things that when you say in front of strangers have no meaning? You know what I mean. Here are a few of ours…

Bubbly Clear- this is what my children call any lemon-lime pop type drink. I’m not sure they even know what 7-up or Sprite are- for them, it’s Bubbly Clear.

Man Soap- This is any bar-soap that is colored blue. It makes boys smell manly and encourages them to bathe without much complaint. They like Man Soap.

Mom Fuzz- the name of random long curly hairs of Mom’s that Dad claims crawl around the house looking for places to curl up and hide. Also can be shower drain rats.

Ear Tips- cotton swabs.

Super Beanie Milk- this is a protein shake Beanie eats when he refuses other food. I put a handmade label on a container of protein powder and he thinks it makes him a super-strong Hero.

Breakfast Mess- a hodge-podge of breakfast foods baked into a casserole and topped with guacamole.

Glommy Mitts- any small child covered in mess- usually post-food.

Frog- the word we use, without exception, for the passing of gas.

Mormon Juice- this is any orange powdered fruit drink. It started from the cannery juice, but now can be Kool-Ade, Tang or any other orange drink.

Bugs- anything with fiber; Dad mixes Bugs into his morning juice, eats tablets of Bugs.

Nose Noodle- boogers. Or specifically, the tissue used to extract them. Sorry, TMI.

Chicken Wing- what David refers to my arms as- especially when I’m mad at him or in the way- “Stop flappin’ your chicken wings at me!”

Neck-Ankle- for Beanie calls every joint on his body an “ankle”- hence we have neck-ankles, arm-ankles, hand-ankles and so on.

What are yours?

Tonight, during family prayers, Jeffrey was saying the prayer, I was sitting on the bed, David was next to Jeffrey and Beanie was flopping around like a big flippery fish. This is normal.

Jeffrey is going through the rigmarole of his prayers, being thankful for his day, his family, his Lego, his Bionicle, and so forth, then:

“…and please Heavn’ly Father, let Beanie remember to put his underwear on, and….”

David snorted and I tried to snurfle a giggle as I peeked out the corner of my eye, and there is Bean, night shirt flipped up, flashing his brother in all his nekkid glory. The giggles won out. So much for reverence.

*sigh* …Boys. I swear.

This is what Beanie wore to church today. And I don’t care. He was being a pill, as exhibited quite well in the photograph, and I told him get dressed. He evidently considers these “Church” clothes. The pants are velvet, and the shirt is white. He did wear shoes- green Vans, to be exact. What more could anyone ask for?

Wow. That was a doozy. I’m still hacking and coughing, but my head doesn’t feel like an overblown balloon anymore, so there’s that.

Abby fell on her face while playing outside- and I mean really, she used her face, from her forehead, down her nose, to her upper lip, as a landing pad. It’s one big, red scab. We’ve been giving her lots of warm baths and keeping her lubed up with Neosporin- cause you know there’s nothing an almost-two-year-old likes better than having her nose tended.

Planning on painting some more in the coming week. Thanks to those of you who’ve contacted me for consigned pieces- I can’t tell you how much that’s appreciated There should be more for Etsy soon, too.

We missed the storehouse this week- my food order is sitting right here on my desk, but actually getting down there on either Wednesday or Thursday just completely confounded me. Oh well, thank goodness for WIC- we have milk, cheese and eggs at least! Those WIC people are just the nicest folks on the planet.

I still feel weird though. If you just look at us- it seems ridiculous that we would need aid. We live in a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood. We drive decent cars, I have an almost embarrassingly large ring on my hand, my kids are well-dressed- and yet, there I am, with my WIC coupons in line at the market. The irony does not escape me.

It certainly gives me compassion, patience, love and lack of judgement next time I’m in line behind someone using their coupons. Especially love. Because, man, you just never know. It doesn’t matter at all how things look. You never know. If I take anything else away from this experience, that alone is worth the trial.

Nothing concrete in the job market yet- but we’re still OK.

Sick sick sick. Head full of concrete, chest full of ache. Sick. Be back soon.

You know, just when I think this old world is moving too fast for me (gee, it sounds like I’m about 97 and complaining about my lumbago…) something wonderful happens that can only happen today.

So many wonderful people have come into my life via blogs- people I would not likely have otherwise known, people who add dimension, color and love to my life. Just a few examples of late:

Today in the mail, I got a box of pretzels. No just any pretzels, mind you, but squished pretzels from Trader Joe’s- and all because I made a silly comment on Hairyshoefairy’s blog- she thought enough to go to the store, pick them up, go to the post office, and mail them to me. HSF has also sent me a photo album she made of my kids, and I cannot even tell you how beautiful it is…

Four days ago, we got a box from Nestle- and the woman had a BABY on Friday! Let’s just marvel at the fact she would think of anyone right now, let alone a veritable stranger she has never met. Did I mention she just had a BABY? Like, the same day we recieved the box of goodies? She thought of my kids, and had her kids help pick out things to give… Go look at her adorable baby.

Emily, my dear sweet Emily, has sent so many little kind things to me- notes, fabric, old movies- which we both enjoy- I can’t even begin to say enough about Em.

TftCarrie has sent goodie boxes with candles and lip glosses and fun girlie stuff, and the book she has recently had published- all for the sake of being kind to a veritable stranger.  You can see Carrie’s book here,and I highly recommend it- it reminds me a little book I had when I was a child, and it’s sure to make a wonderful keepsake.

Jen, at Mythbuster Beauty, who only knows me through Mo, send me a care package of make-up and skin care products and all kinds of frou-frou girlie stuff. Heaven…

Then there’s Mo. She’s the only one of you who I’ve met in real life, and the only one who can tell you what a holy mess I am- and she has also become one of my dearest friends. She is constantly doing things- she’ll tell you, if you give her half a chance- she’s a giver. My Etsy account exists solely because of her patience with my lame tech skills and complete lack of logical thinking. It’s not that I don’t try- it’s that I really, really can’t.

This is just the list of people who I’ve been in contact with just recently- if I were to put together an exhaustive list, I’m sure I would be blown away at the abundance of kindness and love I’ve been given. Off the top of my head, all of these people have dropped an e-mail, sent a kind word, called or let us know in some way they are keeping us in their prayers- Bek, Susan M., Heather O, the Wiz, Hollywood, Julie at Rarely Home Mom, Sugergenius and the Missus, Kristine, Jared, Michelle at Scribbit, Deborah at Exponent, ECS, S’mee, Cheryl… and on and on and on.

Wow. Someday, I hope I can do something wonderful for each of you.

Giving some cheese love at Etsy- check it out!